


precautionary measures

by oqua



Series: In Depth Bants [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 19:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6767239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oqua/pseuds/oqua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan assures Phil that if he ever posts on IDB, no one will ever guess it's him. </p><p>An epilogue to the fic <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6754246">pasta sauce</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	precautionary measures

**Author's Note:**

> Written to explain why Dan "never using capital letters online isn't just a grammatically incorrect aesthetic choice it's a deep and philosophical part of who i am" Howell, who dies internally when people call him "DanIsNotOnFire," would ever make his username "PhilTrashNumber1." ;)

_[The scene: Dan and Phil are on their kitchen floor, surrounded by empty sauce jars. If you like, you can imagine them doing cute things as they talk like running their fingers through each other’s sauce-filled hair, idk]_

*

“You don’t _actually_  mind that I made an account, do you?” Dan asks.

“No. It’s fine.” Phil pauses. “Just as long as you don’t do anything, like, obvious, okay?”

“Phil, you’re crushing all my dreams. I was going to make an introduction post saying, ‘Hello, Phan is real, here’s a video of me and Phil having sex.’” He glances at Phil, eyebrows raised. “I’m not a fucking idiot.”

“No, I know you’re not. Just, like…you know.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, Phil. If I ever post anything I’ll be _very subtle_. And even if I came right out and said I was Dan Howell, they’d never believe it was me.”

“Why not?”

“Because. I took precautionary measures."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I capitalized the first letter of each word in my username. They know the _real_  danisnotonfire would never do that."

Phil laughs. "You really expect them to think about it that deeply?"

“I know for a _fact_  they'll think about it that deeply.”

“Dan Howell, master of disguise.”

“You know I am. And Phil?”

“Hm?”

“If I ever _do_  post, I promise I’ll let you pour, I dunno, maple syrup on my head.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“Yeah, and then we can have sex with it. Sound good?”

Phil gives him a look. “Sounds good.”

“Cool.”


End file.
